moving forward – Take on Life After 50

Growth Never Stops, No Matter How Old You Are.

Hi! I know, I know…it’s been weeks since I’ve written anything. I haven’t forgotten about you wonderful readers; I just didn’t know where I was going so wanted to figure that out first.

And when I say going, I don’t mean moving. I’m quite content with my house and now that spring is here, I see I have a mountain of yardwork to do. And all of our snow hasn’t melted yet.

Don’t feel bad though, because all of my blogs and websites suffered the same fate. I was equally slacking on all fronts when it came to posting.

Sometimes we just need that away time to get our head out of our ass and really figure out what to do with life. I guess we never do get it figured out completely because there’s always a little hiccup here and there. It’s those hiccups that make us think though; at least for me it is.

Winter tends to take its toll on me some years, and this one has been no different. I always have big plans of having walking trails, going outside more, and not letting the dreary days get to me. And then the wind blows, the snow drifts cover my trails, and I decide staying inside is so much better. And yes, I have become quite accustomed to staying inside when it’s minus 40 out.

My boyfriend and I did get away for a couple of days in early March. We stayed at West Edmonton Mall, and took in some shopping, some waterpark time, and a round of mini golf. There is so much to see and do there, a couple of days just isn’t quite enough time.

It was that trip that sparked a whole new hobby for me; one that I’m going to be gradually turning into a side hustle. We were walking by a framing shop when a painting caught my eye, and well, let’s just say I was hooked. That painting almost came home with me; but I just couldn’t justify the price tag on it. I recently spent less than that on a 6 piece sectional for my living room.

I can only dream of being as good as the artist that did the painting I want, but it gives me a goal to work toward. And who knows: that painting may work its way into my home yet.

I have purchased books, paints, canvases, easels, brushes, and palettes; watched YouTube videos; and painted some smaller scenic pictures. The 4″ X 4″ canvas was painted black only because I had some black paint left from another painting. It stayed that way for over a week, then one day I decided to add a few grey and white brushstrokes to it. I had considered adding some colourful blossoms, but decided against it. What I’m left with is, if I do say so myself, strikingly simple.

That little painting has become part of my logo for my DLZArtworkandMore Etsy Shop (formerly TOLA50Printables). So yes, I have changed the name of my shop; but that was better than starting another. The printable and digital products will still be available, but I will now also be shipping physical products. I have the resources and equipment to create physical products, so I have decided to branch out a little.

New logo for my revamped Etsy Shop.

My other Etsy Shop, NotJustalpacaDesigns, will be closed on April 30, 2023. If you’re interested in getting any of my crochet patterns, books, or my writing course, now is the time to do it. The entire shop is 60% off until April 30. It has been a wonderful shop, and has given me a good run; but now it’s time to shut it down.

The winter has also had me out on a snowmobile, with our St. Patrick’s Day trip getting cut short not long after it started. My inexperience resulted in a textbook launch over a grader ridge, and apparently a perfect landing. All was good until impact and my face hit the handlebars, resulting in losing my helmet. It was a freak thing, because the helmet nicely positioned itself on the dash as soon as it left my head, and the glasses I was wearing under the goggles cut into my forehead. That in turn resulted in a trip to the ER to get my forehead taped back together.

We are thankful for a helpful neighbour, who drove me back to my boyfriend’s place then took him to retrieve the other snowmobile. It’s amazing how deep the nose piece on a pair of glasses can really cut, even though a person doesn’t really have much for tissue on the forehead. Needless to say, I decided then and there I was done with snowmobiling for the season.

All is well, and the cut has now become a scar that makes me look like I have a permanent scowl (not just when I am scowling…lol). I’m none the worse for wear, didn’t suffer a concussion, and learned that anticipated impact is always harder than one thinks.

On March 25th we celebrated my granddaughter’s first birthday. My daughter made her a smash cake, and that little girl had icing and cake everywhere. It was so much fun to watch her taste the icing for the first time, then eventually pick up the cake. When it came apart she had a piece in each hand, and wasn’t sure which to take a bite of first. It’s the moments like that we need to make time for, because we’ll never get them back.

I know I have rambled a little more than I had planned, but I tend to do that on occasion. Plus you’re now aware of the few little changes that will be taking place over the next while. This blog will stay, and my yoga journey (which went wayside) will resume; but will be a part of this site as soon as I can figure out how to move it all over.

And as much as I wanted to publishing venture to work, I realized my heart just isn’t in it. It might be more of a behind-the-scenes thing when I publish my own books, but the website will be deleted. I found I was spreading myself too thin, and something has to go.

I’ll be modifying past blog posts, adjusting some of the links in the sidebar (or removing them entirely), and creating new products of my Etsy Shop. These little things will take some time to get done, but working toward a simpler system has given me peace of mind. It has also relieved some of the stress I was feeling because I was trying to do it all.

Thanks for sticking with me, and I look forward to getting back on track here. Have a wonderful week, and may your spring bring joy, fresh air, and beautiful gardens.

Why It’s Good to Think Outside the Box

Do you ever have a “Why didn’t I think of this before?” moment?

I’ve had a few of them lately, and it’s annoying. And mostly because it’s been such simple stuff.

For example, I’ve been concentrating on making printables for my Etsy Shop and just came to the conclusion the same files can be used in Goodnotes or other notetaking apps. It looks like I have some listings to revamp.

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Sometimes we get too set in our ways.

I’m the type of person who likes things as they were. It’s hard for me to make drastic changes in life willingly. However, those changes have happened whether I wanted them to or not.

When Ross died I kept as much the same in the house as I could. His clothes were still there, everything on his nightstand, and so forth. It took a long time before I gradually started giving away/tossing his things. When I moved, I probably kept more than I should have.

Getting settled into my new place has been an adventure to say the least. Once I wrapped my head around the fact I could change the colours of the walls, replace the flooring, and make changes as I see fit, it has been easier to do.

Me and my wanting things to stay the same is interfering with how the yard is going to change this summer. I love the grass (over an acre of it I’m sure), but the practical me knows that space can be better utilized for growing flowers, fruit, and vegetables. I even have trouble changing things other people did.

The point I’m trying to make is we all too often get in our own way. Just because something has been done a certain way for ages doesn’t mean that’s the only way. The older I get, the more I’m realizing it.

In order to improve, we have to be willing to make changes.

Improvement doesn’t miraculously just happen. We have to make it happen. Whether it’s improving our health or financial status, we’re the ones responsible. And the improvements also mean hard work on our part.

Sure, we’d like to think things will just fall into our laps, but that does not happen. And if by some chance it does, the circumstances haven’t been the best to make it happen. (Ask me how I know.)

I’ve spent the better part of the last 2 1/2+ years taking courses, reading, and working to improve what I do and how to do it. I have also ventured into some unknown territory regarding my writing and creating, but I know better things are in store.

As we all know, everything works in theory. But in order to make it work for real we have to take chances and be willing to make changes.

No matter what we do in life we have to be willing to make changes; or at least accept that sometimes change is inevitable. Plus we have to work on being better versions of ourselves. I have a quote on my office wall that says “It’s not about being the best; it’s about being better than you were yesterday.” It’s a quote I refer to often, especially when things aren’t proceeding like I think they should be.

So when you’re stuck in your thinking, or in a creative rut, take a step back and think about what you can do to make things better. Write it out, talk it out, or colour it out. You never know what will present the “aha” moment you need.

Getting Through the Holidays When You’re Not Feeling Festive

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas! It truly is the most wonderful time of the year, but can bring about mixed feelings for some.

I love Christmas, but the season seems to mess with my sleep. I don’t usually give it much thought, but I did pay better attention this year. About two weeks before Christmas my sleep went to shit; something I haven’t had much trouble with for months.

My boyfriend (Is that even a term when one is over 50?) said I should go to the doctor and see if there was an underlying issue, but I’m stubborn and didn’t. I told him I’d see how it went after Christmas, and if the horrible sleep persisted I’d make an appointment.

Here it is, the 29th of December, and I’m almost back on track for sleeping through the night (aside from the 3-4 am pee break). So the bottom line is, it most likely had everything to do with Christmas.

I did invest in a weighted blanket, however, and that did seem to help to a degree. I also bought a box of Sleep Eze, of which I only took one. (I think taking it caused me more anxiety than the not sleeping, so I decided to just not bother taking another.)

This was the third Christmas without Ross, and I think that weighed a little heavier on my mind and heart than I realized. Holidays and special occasions are the hardest, because we spent so many together. I missed having him here to sample the baking, offer to open the presents early, and have an eggnog with. I didn’t even go for a drive to see the Christmas lights in town this year; something we did every year.

Things you can do.

If Christmas brings sadness to you, know you aren’t alone. In a time that’s supposed to be so happy, many people don’t realize that others are struggling just to get through it. It’s definitely a time of mixed emotions and feelings for so many people.

Admitting to others you’re sad isn’t a bad thing. Those who truly care will understand, and will be there with the extra hugs when you need them. It’s okay to have off days.

What isn’t okay is to think others will be better off without you. The holidays also find suicide rates increasing, because some individuals feel they have nothing to live for. If you’ve ever had suicidal thoughts, don’t keep them to yourself. Get the help you deserve, because the world just won’t be the same without you.

I’m not a doctor or trained in mental health issues, but I do know that reaching out to someone does help. Even if it’s just for company. You don’t have to talk about who you’re missing or what’s bothering you, but that does help. Chances are, the person you reach out to is missing someone too.

Journalling also helps, because it can bring thoughts and feelings into perspective. I personally have been lacking in my journalling, which I know isn’t the healthiest of things to do. It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of life, and not take the time to write down what’s going on behind the scenes.

Finding the good in each day has more power than you might think. Whether it’s a call from a friend, seeing the sunrise (or sunset), or simply getting through the day withoput having a meltdown. (Granted, meltdowns are what makes us stronger, but that’s just my humble opinion.) Practice gratitude and you’ll feel better as the days go on. And don’t just reserve gratitude for holidays; practice it each and every day.

Turn up the tunes. I don’t know about you, but I find some upbeat music lifts my spirits. I love my country music, but sometimes the mood calls for some 80’s rock or even some techno-shit (as a former co-worker put it). Even Christmas Carols can be fun when they’re sung by Boney M or the Irish Rovers.

As we get older our lives change, and we often lose those closest to us. It’s not easy by any means, but we need to do everything in our power to carry on for our kids, grandkids, family, and friends. Humans are complicated beings, and the older I get the more I see just how complicated we really are.

If the holidays and special occasions bring you down, talk to someone about it. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or trained professional, chances are you’ll feel better. And if you can ride out the storm, then you have become stronger than you were when it started.

You are special. You are important. And most of all, you are loved.