Grief Sucks

Eight weeks ago today I received the most terrible news of my entire life. It has changed who I am, who I will be, and well, pretty much everything about my life after (his) death.

Losing Ross was sudden; something we didn’t anticipate. It was a shock to say the least, and in some ways it still doesn’t seem real. We’ve gone through the funeral, the inurnment is to follow in just over two weeks’ time, and then I will continue to try moving forward.

I have neglected my blogs, my websites, and a few other things. Grief is not an easy thing to get through. In all honesty, I don’t think we ever really “get through” it at all. I know for me it has hit me like a ton of bricks.

With that said, I will be getting back to writing in more than just my journal. The posts here may be about life, and death, and the things they both bring, but it is all part of the healing process. He was my world, and I miss him more than words can say.

I’m not ashamed to say I cry – a lot. As a writer I can put my feelings down on paper. And there are so many mixed feelings that come with grief. In the same token, I know I need to move forward and continue with my writing for clients and myself.

Ross was my biggest fan and supporter of my writing, and I feel I would be letting him down if I stopped. My second novella in my new series was dedicated to him (I started it a year ago) and it will stay dedicated to him. Now I just have to finish it so you, my readers, can enjoy it as well.

Thank you for being patient while I got life sort of figured out. I know I’ll have my okay days and my not-okay days, but one day at a time is all I can do.

Grief sucks. Who’s with me on that?

Cherish those you love.

I feel as if 2020 has been unfair to so many, and it has really hit me hard this week.

On Tuesday May 5 I lost the love of my life to cardiac arrest; that’s a call no one ever wants to get. My heart is broken.

It has been a rough week, with more rough times to come. I just wanted you to know that’s the reason my posts will most likely be few and far between (sparser than usual) for the next while.

I have so many things to deal with, and am thankful I have the support of family and friends to get through it all.

Cherish every moment with your loved ones: you never know how long you really have with anyone. He and I were supposed to grow old together.

Stay healthy, and stay safe.