I hope you had a wonderful Christmas! It truly is the most wonderful time of the year, but can bring about mixed feelings for some.
I love Christmas, but the season seems to mess with my sleep. I don’t usually give it much thought, but I did pay better attention this year. About two weeks before Christmas my sleep went to shit; something I haven’t had much trouble with for months.
My boyfriend (Is that even a term when one is over 50?) said I should go to the doctor and see if there was an underlying issue, but I’m stubborn and didn’t. I told him I’d see how it went after Christmas, and if the horrible sleep persisted I’d make an appointment.
Here it is, the 29th of December, and I’m almost back on track for sleeping through the night (aside from the 3-4 am pee break). So the bottom line is, it most likely had everything to do with Christmas.
Disclaimer: Links within this post are either to my own products, or products I endorse. I may receive a small commission should you make a purchase through an affiliate link, at no extra cost to you. My blog is supported through commissions and sales of my products. Plus, if you like what you read you can show your support by pinning this post, sharing on social media, or buy me a coffee. Thank you for your continued support.
I did invest in a weighted blanket, however, and that did seem to help to a degree. I also bought a box of Sleep Eze, of which I only took one. (I think taking it caused me more anxiety than the not sleeping, so I decided to just not bother taking another.)
This was the third Christmas without Ross, and I think that weighed a little heavier on my mind and heart than I realized. Holidays and special occasions are the hardest, because we spent so many together. I missed having him here to sample the baking, offer to open the presents early, and have an eggnog with. I didn’t even go for a drive to see the Christmas lights in town this year; something we did every year.
Things you can do.
If Christmas brings sadness to you, know you aren’t alone. In a time that’s supposed to be so happy, many people don’t realize that others are struggling just to get through it. It’s definitely a time of mixed emotions and feelings for so many people.
Admitting to others you’re sad isn’t a bad thing. Those who truly care will understand, and will be there with the extra hugs when you need them. It’s okay to have off days.
What isn’t okay is to think others will be better off without you. The holidays also find suicide rates increasing, because some individuals feel they have nothing to live for. If you’ve ever had suicidal thoughts, don’t keep them to yourself. Get the help you deserve, because the world just won’t be the same without you.
I’m not a doctor or trained in mental health issues, but I do know that reaching out to someone does help. Even if it’s just for company. You don’t have to talk about who you’re missing or what’s bothering you, but that does help. Chances are, the person you reach out to is missing someone too.
Journalling also helps, because it can bring thoughts and feelings into perspective. I personally have been lacking in my journalling, which I know isn’t the healthiest of things to do. It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of life, and not take the time to write down what’s going on behind the scenes.
Finding the good in each day has more power than you might think. Whether it’s a call from a friend, seeing the sunrise (or sunset), or simply getting through the day withoput having a meltdown. (Granted, meltdowns are what makes us stronger, but that’s just my humble opinion.) Practice gratitude and you’ll feel better as the days go on. And don’t just reserve gratitude for holidays; practice it each and every day.
Turn up the tunes. I don’t know about you, but I find some upbeat music lifts my spirits. I love my country music, but sometimes the mood calls for some 80’s rock or even some techno-shit (as a former co-worker put it). Even Christmas Carols can be fun when they’re sung by Boney M or the Irish Rovers.
As we get older our lives change, and we often lose those closest to us. It’s not easy by any means, but we need to do everything in our power to carry on for our kids, grandkids, family, and friends. Humans are complicated beings, and the older I get the more I see just how complicated we really are.
If the holidays and special occasions bring you down, talk to someone about it. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or trained professional, chances are you’ll feel better. And if you can ride out the storm, then you have become stronger than you were when it started.
You are special. You are important. And most of all, you are loved.
I have to admit, I’ve kind of lost sight of what I intended this blog to be when I started out.
I’ve looked back on my home page, and see I have concentrated mostly on the side hustle end of it, while not paying much attention to the real reason I started it in the first place.
Granted, the side hustle part has been good because I have received so many lovely comments over the past few months. And for that I am grateful.
Disclaimer: Links within this post are either to my own products, or products I endorse. I may receive a small commission should you make a purchase through an affiliate link, at no extra cost to you. My blog is supported through commissions and sales of my products. Plus, if you like what you read you can show your support by pinning this post, sharing on social media, or buy me a coffee. Thank you for your continued support.
However, that’s not the only reason I’m here.
As the second anniversary of my husband’s passing quickly approaches (less than a month away), I am reminded time waits for no one. On this date two years ago life was good. We had plans; we had a new home; and we were looking forward to growing old together.
Fast forward to today, and I am moving forward with life. I can never say I’m moving on…just forward. I thought I could live in the home we shared forever, but without him it doesn’t feel like home.
It took me a long time to realize that, which is why I will be moving into a new home. I’m not moving to forget him; it’s more so I can continue living. His pictures and keepsake urn will go with me, and be displayed on the mantle.
A person never really knows how they will react to a situation, or how views will change. For me, it has been months of learning who I am, and growing as a person. Truth be told, until you’re in that situation you’ll never be able to say just what you will do.
The acreage I’m buying has everything I want and need. Wide open space; a garage (no more sweeping snow off my Jeep, or plugging in the block heater when it’s colder than minus 20 C); huge windows throughout; skylights; a gorgeous view; a fireplace; a game room complete with pool table, shuffleboard, and poker table; a workshop in the back; mature trees; a huge kitchen; an office with a view; and plenty of space for family gatherings.
It’s all I could ever want in a home. Did I mention the 4 bathrooms and jacuzzi in the master bath? I think I might get lost in it. My hellions (aka Mickey & Merlot) won’t know what to do with so much space, and my dog will need some adjustment time as well. It’ll be an adventure for all.
I’ve struggled with being here alone; sometimes it’s just easier to be gone. I don’t expect anyone to know how I feel, because losing a spouse is different for everyone. I will say this though: if you know someone who has lost a spouse and they decide to move forward, don’t be too hard on them. If I’ve learned anything from the past two years, it’s do what makes you happy. Life’s too short to dwell on what can’t be changed.
So when I post about something other than side hustles, it’s because I’m trying to stay true to my original vision for this site. I’m over 50, and it really isn’t all that bad. It’s a time in life when kids are grown and have lives of their own; and are starting families of their own. (Proud grandma here.)
It’s a time to be grateful for all the things that went right in a day, and learn from the things that went wrong. We’re not perfect by any means; all part of being human. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to just stop and smell the roses, and do what works for you.
I have always done for others; now it’s time to do for me. I love blogging, and I love reading the comments you leave. If I can help just one person when I post, I’m happy. I’m not going anywhere, and plan on continuing my blog for a long time.
Side hustles is how I supplement my widow’s pension, and I will continue to share what I learn and come across. I will also, however, include my opinions and knowledge about life in general.
That said, what are your thoughts on life in general? Do you take it for granted, or live each day to the fullest?
You’re listening to Take on Life After 50, the podcast for people over 50 who want to supplement their retirement by doing what they love. I’m your host, Diane Ziomek. And this is where you’ll find practical how to’s and inspiration to create the life you deserve. Whether you want to replace your current income or to supplement it, I’m here to share my experiences, ideas, and even some of life’s lessons when it comes to side hustles.
Disclaimer: Links within this post are either to my own products, or products I endorse. I may receive a small commission should you make a purchase through an affiliate link, at no extra cost to you. My blog is supported through commissions and sales of my products. Thank you for your continued support.
Episode 5: Who I Am, and Why I Do What I Do
Note: This blog post is copied from the episode script, which has been transcribed by otter.ai, and edited by me.
Welcome to Episode 5: Who I Am, and Why I do What I do.
I hope you had a happy holiday season, and that 2022 started out on a good note. My Christmas and New Year’s was quiet. But when the temperatures are hovering in the minus 30 to minus 40 Celsius range, it’s not a bad thing to not have to venture very far.
In my last episode, I said I was going to take the Christmas break to plan out the first quarter of 2022. And part of that plan is to increase the number of listings I have in my Etsy shop. I started off with five sales between my two shops the first two days of the year, which I’m quite happy with. To some it may not seem like much but for me it paid my fees plus I had some money deposited into my bank account this week. Anytime my fees get covered with a little bit of extra, I consider that a win.
More of my story.
January 5 marks the 20th month since I became a widow. And that life event has made me appreciate the people in my life so much more. We never know what each day will bring. And the world as we know it can quickly come crashing down. My world changed in a heartbeat. Or rather, when his heart stopped beating. The things I took for granted were no longer there, like him being here when I got home from work. We had plans, and many of those plans died with him.
One of my regular blog readers asked me today, what was different about me since I became a widow? And my first answer was, I don’t take things for granted now. I also told him I’m still trying to figure life out. Because when something like that happens, it’s not something that can be done in a week, a month, or even a year. I now do all the tasks and chores we shared. And I’ve become better at being self sufficient. And when something arises that I’m unable to do, I’ve learned to ask for help from friends or family. And when I’m asking for help, you know I must really need it because I’m pretty stubborn when it comes to certain things. And in the case of frozen water lines earlier this week (oops, I meant last week), I had to call a plumber. It was something that I couldn’t fix. And it’s just the way it happened to be.
We can’t always control our circumstances, but we can do what we have to so we can move forward. For me, that meant resigning from my job as a library assistant, and taking the time that I needed for me. Too many people are forced to go back to work after the death of a spouse. I know someone who has been, you know, told that she should go back and I don’t agree with that. I refused to be one of those people being forced to go back.
I did go ahead with our deck building plans that we had had. Although, I may have made the deck bigger than we had discussed. Taking on a massive project like that gave me something to do to keep busy. It also taught me to not be afraid of a chop saw. And that using one was much faster than a handsaw. And ironically, it was the handsaw that I cut my leg with. Go figure.
As I completed that project that was about six weeks in the making, I felt a sense of accomplishment. I had taken a pile pile of lumber and cement blocks that didn’t come with instructions, and turned them into a two level deck complete was railing and steps. The latter were made from stair risers I bought but the set between the two levels was made from wood. I do have to say, had anyone told me two years ago that I could have made a deck almost all on my own I would have told them they were nuts.
That life event made it even more important for me to pursue my dream of creating passive income. I started my side hustles and blog pre-widowhood with the intention of supplementing our income so we could travel. Now I do it to not only support myself financially, but also to show you there are so many options available when you’re ready to say goodbye to the 9 to 5.
Or maybe you’re not ready to give up the 9 to 5 just yet. And that’s okay. Being over 50 gives us an advantage over the 20-somethings in the world. We have life experience. And that alone can give us a list of side hustles we can do that the younger generations can’t.
30 years ago I couldn’t give anyone parenting advice. Although, I may have attempted to a time or two. But now that I have kids on my own, I feel my input is valuable. I don’t proclaim to be the perfect parent, because really, there’s no such thing. But at least I can understand what other parents endure. And in a few months, I’ll be able to share some of that advice with my daughter when her first baby arrives. I think that’s pretty exciting.
I also couldn’t tell anyone how to change oil in a vehicle, how to change a tire, or how to build a raised garden bed. But now that I’ve lived a few more decades, I have that knowledge as well.
You see, life experience goes a long way. The 20-somethings are generally booksmart but us 50-somethings are life smart, as well as book smart. And what I’m trying to say is this, if you’re ready to slow down in life, or want to change, then do what makes you happy. Life’s too short to not be happy.
Whatever side hustle you choose doesn’t have to become permanent. You do it for as long as you wish, and you have full control over when you stop. Maybe you only want a few hundred extra dollars a month. With there being so many options available both online and off, there’s no reason you can’t do what you want. I think our generation has an advantage because we’ve lived in a world without computers, in a world without the internet. And we know what life is like without them. And if you’re anything like me, you also know how easy it is to utilize their power.
Some side hustles are a one time deal, while others are an ongoing moneymaker. You may not find that perfect fit for you right away, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Always remember that we grow as we get older. So what you wanted to do 10 years ago may no longer be something that excites you now. In my case, 10 years ago, I wanted to be a bookkeeper. After doing it as a side hustle for a couple years, I realized it really wasn’t my calling after all. And now I just do my own books.
I’ve done a lot of things over the years for mail order fabric squares to different party plans. But to date, my very favorite is creating printables I sell in my Etsy shop. Plus, I love sharing my knowledge with others when it comes to side hustles and self publishing.
I believe others can learn from my oopses. And believe me when I say I’ve made a few. I don’t claim to be perfect or to know it all. What I do know was I love what I do. And it has taken me a lifetime to get here. There is no timeline on when you should do something when you shouldn’t do something. If you want to go back to school when you’re in your 50s go back to school when you’re in your 50s. There’s nothing saying you can’t. And if someone says you shouldn’t, their opinion really doesn’t really matter.
Conclusion
Now that you know more of my story, I will continue the episodes as I started; giving you ideas and resources so you can find what works for you. And speaking of resources, don’t forget to check out the tools and resources page on my website takeonlifeafter50.com. It doesn’t matter what stage of your working years you’re at because a side hustle can be started at any time. The advantage for those of us over 50 is we have a little more time to pursue our own interests.
Kids are grown and have lives of their own which means we are able to set up a studio or not or an office in a spare bedroom. The night owls can once again work when they’re most productive. And I am that night owl. Our projects can be left out without fear of someone else moving without someone else moving it. Unless of course there are cats in the house. And yes, that’s experience talking. I love my cats but I sure don’t love it when they decide to rearrange things for me. I forgot what it was like to have indoor cats because hubby was allergic to them. After the first disaster or two I learned to put away whatever I didn’t want scattered from one end of the house to the other.
In next week’s episode I’ll talk about starting a printable side hustle and why Etsy is a good starting point. See you then.
Thanks for listening to this episode, and I hope you’ve been able to take away a little something from if you want to learn more about me visit my website to takeonlifeafter50.com and get your copy of 3 Side Hustles to Fill Your Piggy Bank.
Take on Life After 50 