family and friends – Take on Life After 50

Getting Through the Holidays When You’re Not Feeling Festive

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas! It truly is the most wonderful time of the year, but can bring about mixed feelings for some.

I love Christmas, but the season seems to mess with my sleep. I don’t usually give it much thought, but I did pay better attention this year. About two weeks before Christmas my sleep went to shit; something I haven’t had much trouble with for months.

My boyfriend (Is that even a term when one is over 50?) said I should go to the doctor and see if there was an underlying issue, but I’m stubborn and didn’t. I told him I’d see how it went after Christmas, and if the horrible sleep persisted I’d make an appointment.

Here it is, the 29th of December, and I’m almost back on track for sleeping through the night (aside from the 3-4 am pee break). So the bottom line is, it most likely had everything to do with Christmas.

Disclaimer: Links within this post are either to my own products, or products I endorse. I may receive a small commission should you make a purchase through an affiliate link, at no extra cost to you. My blog is supported through commissions and sales of my products. Plus, if you like what you read you can show your support by pinning this post, sharing on social media, or buy me a coffee. Thank you for your continued support.

I did invest in a weighted blanket, however, and that did seem to help to a degree. I also bought a box of Sleep Eze, of which I only took one. (I think taking it caused me more anxiety than the not sleeping, so I decided to just not bother taking another.)

This was the third Christmas without Ross, and I think that weighed a little heavier on my mind and heart than I realized. Holidays and special occasions are the hardest, because we spent so many together. I missed having him here to sample the baking, offer to open the presents early, and have an eggnog with. I didn’t even go for a drive to see the Christmas lights in town this year; something we did every year.

Things you can do.

If Christmas brings sadness to you, know you aren’t alone. In a time that’s supposed to be so happy, many people don’t realize that others are struggling just to get through it. It’s definitely a time of mixed emotions and feelings for so many people.

Admitting to others you’re sad isn’t a bad thing. Those who truly care will understand, and will be there with the extra hugs when you need them. It’s okay to have off days.

What isn’t okay is to think others will be better off without you. The holidays also find suicide rates increasing, because some individuals feel they have nothing to live for. If you’ve ever had suicidal thoughts, don’t keep them to yourself. Get the help you deserve, because the world just won’t be the same without you.

I’m not a doctor or trained in mental health issues, but I do know that reaching out to someone does help. Even if it’s just for company. You don’t have to talk about who you’re missing or what’s bothering you, but that does help. Chances are, the person you reach out to is missing someone too.

Journalling also helps, because it can bring thoughts and feelings into perspective. I personally have been lacking in my journalling, which I know isn’t the healthiest of things to do. It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of life, and not take the time to write down what’s going on behind the scenes.

Finding the good in each day has more power than you might think. Whether it’s a call from a friend, seeing the sunrise (or sunset), or simply getting through the day withoput having a meltdown. (Granted, meltdowns are what makes us stronger, but that’s just my humble opinion.) Practice gratitude and you’ll feel better as the days go on. And don’t just reserve gratitude for holidays; practice it each and every day.

Turn up the tunes. I don’t know about you, but I find some upbeat music lifts my spirits. I love my country music, but sometimes the mood calls for some 80’s rock or even some techno-shit (as a former co-worker put it). Even Christmas Carols can be fun when they’re sung by Boney M or the Irish Rovers.

As we get older our lives change, and we often lose those closest to us. It’s not easy by any means, but we need to do everything in our power to carry on for our kids, grandkids, family, and friends. Humans are complicated beings, and the older I get the more I see just how complicated we really are.

If the holidays and special occasions bring you down, talk to someone about it. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or trained professional, chances are you’ll feel better. And if you can ride out the storm, then you have become stronger than you were when it started.

You are special. You are important. And most of all, you are loved.

Getting Ready to End 2022 on a Positive Note, and Welcome 2023

I have to admit: I haven’t improved my procrastination situation any.

Getting back into a routine isn’t as easy as I thought it was going to be. I have become a little spoiled with not having to be anywhere in particular at any given time.

Summer is on its way out, and I have been working on getting to know my new house so I don’t have any unexpected major expenses. The recent expenses I have had have been completely planned; at least as far as my house goes.

My Jeep on the other hand: not so much. The joys of vehicle ownership, and having to rely on a dealership to make the major repairs. However, knowing some things about vehicles prevented me from being taken advantage of by a service tech. (I do believe he underestimated my knowledge just because I’m a woman.)

2022 has been a year of some changes for me; with my move being the major one. I’m still not sure if it has really sunk in, and that I can do whatever I like to the house and yard. It definitely takes time and an adjustment period for it all to sink in.

One of my favourite things in my new house. Perfect for the chilly days.

As I adjust to this new chapter of my life I can’t help but feel blessed for all I have. I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, and the love and support of family and friends. Plus I get to spend time with a man who makes me feel good about me. And he doesn’t mind the fact we live in our own houses. (That in itself is a big plus for me.)

As the final quarter of 2022 approaches I do have a few things I want to accomplish before the start of 2023.

Increase my Etsy Sales. My shops (NotJustAlpacaDesigns and TOLA50Printables) were put on the back burner during the move and now it’s time to work on both of them. What that means is getting back into designing both crochet patterns and printables. I’m looking forward to picking up my hook and yarn again.
Get back into posting regularly. This isn’t the only blog that has been lacking in regular updates. My All-In Gardening site has been severely neglected as well. I have a couple of new e-books on gardening available on Kindle, and the links can be found on the site. (If you have Kindle Unlimited you can read them for free.)
Finish the painting and install the flooring in the game room. Almost the entire house needs to be painted and the new flooring put in, but the game room is at the top of the list. I’m hosting Christmas this year and want it done so my nephews and other family members have a place to hang out.
Make a conscious effort to be more present in the moment. I’m terrible when it comes to just enjoying the moment. My brain is always thinking about what needs to be done next, and I find myself missing bits of conversations. It’s time to really listen to others and pay attention: and just enjoy my small circle.(I think this is the most important one of them all.)

I would like my list to be longer, but putting too much pressure on myself tends to lead to frustration when I don’t get it all done. I’m finally starting to realize the world won’t end if I take time for myself, and to spend with family and friends. Some habits are hard to break but I’m doing what I can to get myself out of the rut I created.

Something to ponder: Enjoy the time spent with loved ones, because tomorrow is never promised. Take the time for others now, while you have the chance.

What is most important to you at this stage of your life?

Sidetracked by the Side Hustles

I have to admit, I’ve kind of lost sight of what I intended this blog to be when I started out.

I’ve looked back on my home page, and see I have concentrated mostly on the side hustle end of it, while not paying much attention to the real reason I started it in the first place.

Granted, the side hustle part has been good because I have received so many lovely comments over the past few months. And for that I am grateful.

However, that’s not the only reason I’m here.

As the second anniversary of my husband’s passing quickly approaches (less than a month away), I am reminded time waits for no one. On this date two years ago life was good. We had plans; we had a new home; and we were looking forward to growing old together.

Fast forward to today, and I am moving forward with life. I can never say I’m moving on…just forward. I thought I could live in the home we shared forever, but without him it doesn’t feel like home.

It took me a long time to realize that, which is why I will be moving into a new home. I’m not moving to forget him; it’s more so I can continue living. His pictures and keepsake urn will go with me, and be displayed on the mantle.

A person never really knows how they will react to a situation, or how views will change. For me, it has been months of learning who I am, and growing as a person. Truth be told, until you’re in that situation you’ll never be able to say just what you will do.

The acreage I’m buying has everything I want and need. Wide open space; a garage (no more sweeping snow off my Jeep, or plugging in the block heater when it’s colder than minus 20 C); huge windows throughout; skylights; a gorgeous view; a fireplace; a game room complete with pool table, shuffleboard, and poker table; a workshop in the back; mature trees; a huge kitchen; an office with a view; and plenty of space for family gatherings.

It’s all I could ever want in a home. Did I mention the 4 bathrooms and jacuzzi in the master bath? I think I might get lost in it. My hellions (aka Mickey & Merlot) won’t know what to do with so much space, and my dog will need some adjustment time as well. It’ll be an adventure for all.

I’ve struggled with being here alone; sometimes it’s just easier to be gone. I don’t expect anyone to know how I feel, because losing a spouse is different for everyone. I will say this though: if you know someone who has lost a spouse and they decide to move forward, don’t be too hard on them. If I’ve learned anything from the past two years, it’s do what makes you happy. Life’s too short to dwell on what can’t be changed.

So when I post about something other than side hustles, it’s because I’m trying to stay true to my original vision for this site. I’m over 50, and it really isn’t all that bad. It’s a time in life when kids are grown and have lives of their own; and are starting families of their own. (Proud grandma here.)

It’s a time to be grateful for all the things that went right in a day, and learn from the things that went wrong. We’re not perfect by any means; all part of being human. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to just stop and smell the roses, and do what works for you.

I have always done for others; now it’s time to do for me. I love blogging, and I love reading the comments you leave. If I can help just one person when I post, I’m happy. I’m not going anywhere, and plan on continuing my blog for a long time.

Side hustles is how I supplement my widow’s pension, and I will continue to share what I learn and come across. I will also, however, include my opinions and knowledge about life in general.

That said, what are your thoughts on life in general? Do you take it for granted, or live each day to the fullest?